Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Chomping at the bit!

I got my first review in for "Deadly Obsessions", and it isn't great, but I agree with a certain part of it, but still I'm proud of the film. After all most people who've seen the film seem to like it, and are interested in it. I've gotten some nice comments, and for that I am eternally grateful, but having lived with the film for so long I see more of it's flaws then anyone else.

And you know what that makes me want to do? Do it AGIAN! You always learn something new and different on every film you do, and I want to jump on the next one, and apply those things that I learned. Everyone is a critic, and you have to have some pretty thick skin to go into any of the arts, but I still want to do more work. I have stories to flesh out, and characters to create. My problem is that I like doing films that I can realistically create. I'm no special effects techie who can have spaceships flying around galaxies, and I'm in no position to create a period piece. I'm stuck with MY REALITY. The here and now, and that's fine with me because there is no shortage of stories here. Read a newspaper, open a magazine, or even watch some TV news. There are stories abound, and each one is different and unique. So there's no limit to what you can do, but sometimes when your sitting alone at your computer the words don't flow as well as you'd like. Distractions are everywhere, and sometimes it's real frustrating working on something that may never see the light of day. I'm sure there are thousands of artists in the same boat who experience the same feelings as I do.

For me the strongest thing is the image, but I've learned that words are important too. I've watched many a one act plays which are very engrossing and interesting. The actors make it come alive, and for the briefest of instances you are transported to that place by the sheer performance of the cast & crew, but alone at your typewriter, or computer the words don't inspire, and certainly the images can't. There are no actors to give it life, and sometimes when writing the writer becomes uninterested in the story and bored by his or her words. I find myself there now. Production is a maelstrom of activity where I thrive. Alone it is much more difficult. I am in awe of authors who have written masterpieces for both the literary world and the stage. How did they deal with their demons and their insecurities? How did they know what they wrote was of some worth, or mere tripe? The answer I can only summize is that they knew because they failed more then they succeeded, and they KNEW what was crap and what was literary gold. I also think they knew because of their wealth of knowledge in reading other authors works.

It's the same old story. Experience can only help, but how do you do this in today's market where not only are there books to read, but movies to see, TV to be programmed, and journals to read. It's all quite maddening on how much we are bombarded with all kinds of media.

So why am I chomping at the bit? Find time, write, and then re-write. That's usually the way it goes, but collaboration with others can make a project even more powerful then it is on paper. Hence the frustration. To be the writer, and the director is simply maddening. If I had to choose I so much like the directing part over the writing. The interaction between actors, & the crew can be stimulating and invigorating.

One can argue that too many chefs in the kitchen does tend to spoil the pot. If your a good director you'll know this, and you'll know when to say no to some ideas and yes to others. That's why I'm "chomping". I want to get back to that, and tell a good story. Sitting alone at a computer is not my idea of fun. It's interaction, and using the creative collective to create great pieces of cinema that I enjoy. I haven't done it yet, but I feel I'm in reach, and that's the frustrating part. I'm always learning, and I'm always going to try and strive to do my best. So I need to push onward!

No comments: