Friday, October 05, 2007

Write like you mean it!

Okay so I've been having trouble writing something about my dad. It needs to be about him, and not about our relationship, or am I wrong? How can I write something about someone without having my own feelings put in there. Isn't it about the relationship?

Well no it isn't. It's about a mans decent into confusion & chaos. It about the man's feelings on loosing himself. I know, I know movies have been done about this. Most recently a film called "Away from her" by Sarah Polley has tackled this issue with great skill, and has been hailed by critics as a wonderful and powerful film. I have not seen the film since I was writing something that was similar, and I didn't not want to be dismayed by what I had written and what Ms Polley film had portrayed. In no way could I probably approach what Sarah Polley had done due to my budgetary restraints, but I am hoping to make it a true account of how my father felt as he was being taken from us ever so slowly.

Why do I write about this here? Partly to try and express the difficulty of writing good material. I know that it will take me some time to complete this project, but it is something I am passionate about, and its something I feel worth saying. I have no high expectations for this film other then to tell my fathers story to his grandchildren. The grandchildren he never got to see. The film is a worthwhile endeavor and something that I really want to make work. I don't know if I can pull it off given the budgetary constraints. Every time I think about the story I dread writing about it. I feel that I may never do justice to the memory of my father. As I write I seem to reject more ideas or material then I accept, and I know I'm self censoring myself at times. It's not about me, it's about a fathers journey. It spans 80's years, and a lifetime of achievements that are good and bad.

Finding the time, and getting it all down on paper seems a chore. I've at least identified what I want to do, but the task at hand still seems daunting. I know I can make a film. My first film showed me that, but this time it's personal and it means a lot more to me. Wish me luck I'm going to need it.

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