What would Cassavetes do?

So instead of another review I figured I write about me, and the film, and film production in general. My objective in this blog is to excite myself about film again. In my youth I was a fanatic, but middle age or is it experience has tempered it. I still love the cinema, but I'm not filled with the same vigor as I was. Maybe because priorities change. Yet there is still a part of me that wants to say something important. Maybe not for the general audience, but for the audience of the future who may or may not find some truth in the story I choose to tell. Some may complain about today's state of film production. How competitive it is, and how difficult it is to attract an audience in today’s market. To them I say it is what it is. You can take that attitude and just throw up your hands and say NEVER, or you could embrace the technology of today and run with it. True it is a young persons game, but that's because they grew up in such a rich media centric life. You just need an idea that you're passionate about, and then run with it. The thing I like is when others come into the picture and voice their opinions, and ideas about your idea. Ideas can grow, and so can yours. That's what I like about it. I've been reading scripts on Coppola's website American Zoetrope. I've been a member for awhile, and I've written some reviews on scripts. Some people who had written scripts & posted them on the website have even said that my review has helped. I'm hoping to put up a script of mine when I'm finally satisfied that it's good enough. When I started my film "Deadly Obsessions" there wasn't a web site like this, but now there is. Good creative criticism makes a project better, and it's how I keep fresh, and involved in the movie making process. On the other hand I've been trying to do a sort of trailer for my film "Deadly Obsessions" so I can put it up onto a website called "From here to awesome". What this includes is a snippet of me talking about why I made the film. Now I'm not really good at blowing my own horn, but sometimes you need to throw caution to the wind. After all I'd like to see "Deadly Obsessions" get out there and get seen. So I'm hoping to get that done soon. Then again I hate working on the movie once again. It feels like I've been living with this film way too long, and I want to do something else. Hence the screen writing, and the reviewing of other peoples scripts. I can't say whether I'll be successful or not. But no matter what I do I'd still like to do another film, but something a bit more personal. Something that maybe when my boys look back at it they'll say, "yeah that was our dad", and maybe to inspire them to do what they love. After all we're not forever, and this is all temporary. So yeah I'm getting excited, but it isn't easy or maybe it is that easy and I'm just making too many excuses for myself. For me it's about the film, and the process. I'm fortunate to be born in an era where the personal film can be made without bankrupting the artist. What would Cassavettes do I wonder. Part of me would believe that he'd pick up his camera, hand some actor friends an outline of a story, and just start shooting. Sounds great to me. It's time I do the same.